One of the most frequently encountered prejudices against America in Germany is the superficiality: In America, nobody is really friendly, that is just superficial. Service in restaurants lasts only until the check is brought. Admittedly, the greetings in America are much more cordial than in Germany, and still the phrases are less comitting. Nobody is really interested in “how I am” (I started relating at length how I felt once and was met with blank stares). Is that necessarily worse, though? I had to un-train myself wishing random people a nice day when I was in Germany, just to avoid being eyed with suspicion.
I don’t really know what people in Germany expect: If I meet someone in an elevator, I don’t want to share their most intimate thoughts, a “How is it going” is sufficient. It does not hurt to say something friendly, and it is always nice to hear it. If I enter a restaurant, I do not intend to malke friends for life, I just want to be served promptly and correctly. Maybe with a smile, why not?
And though people look down on the American attitude, nobody is really fond of the “emotionally authentic” German service. Maybe waiters there are more authentic, yet if I have to wait 20min for some sourpuss to bring me the espresso I ordered twice, which then consistently does not turn up on the check, I have to say that I don’t give a damn about emotional depth and authenticity! After all, German waiters do not even have to worry about the expected tip being subtracted from (already minimum) wages, so it should be much easier for them to smile some times. The friendliness of American service personel might be partially due to the fear of losing one’s job, but what difference does the motivation for friendly service ultimately make for the customer? I do not need to questions someones psychological motivation if he treats me nicely. And just for the sake of completeness it should be mentioned here that Americans are indeed capable of genuine friendliness and helpfulness…
So as long as it only concerns everyday encounters and not interpersonal relations, I am all for a little bit more superficiality!
Have a nice day!